A couple things: first of all, I'm not landing 100% of my jokes. Not that I was in Canada, but I can honestly say my percentage of hits has plummeted, my friends! I have faith it will be back, but for the time being, I'm sticking to sexual puns only, as those seem to transcend any cultural barrier.
That saiddddddd, the past three days have been fantastic and culturally shocking at the same time. Let me pick up from last post. The beers and drinks were fabulous on Wednesday. The band was singing in Inglese, which helped me look cool, belting out R-E-S-P-E-C-T with the Aretha voice-a-like, who likely didn't know what she was melodically saying. We drank an unfiltered white beer, and then switched to a Honey infused brew called Bloe Men Bier from Germany (cue dirty joke #43 of the night: me explaining how hilarious it is that a delicious beer also resembles multiple BJs in pronunciation). A friend of ours is finishing his university degree, focusing his thesis on the Great Lakes of Ontario, if you can belieeee dat! Boy, did I impress him with the photographs on my iPhone of the magnificent Lago Ontario. I also offered some insight as to the amount of snow the area gets every year, and whether or not the ice freezes over completely in the winter time (thanks Sheila and Tommy).
This brings us to yesterday, a day of food, family, cooking music, Carnival and the biggest yard sale into culture shock I've experienced yet. In the morning we went to pick up Nonna at her house which entailed a tour of every square inch of the place, and in all seriousness, it was worth it! It was incredible! High ceilings, huge camera di letto (bedroom), balconies, attics, due cucine (two kitchens), three stories, un giardino (garden) -- molto bellissimo! She is the most lovely woman in Italy, I am sure of it. On our way out, she handed me a giant sack of potatoes and told me today is Carnival in Italy, which means we make and eat Gnocchi.
Back at the ranch, I brought my bose (pronounced bos-ay) downstairs to the cucina and got ready to get my hands dirty in potatoes with Mama, Nonna and Manu, Davide's 18 year old brother, and cutest young man ever. I threw on the only Italian Songza playlist available, which was entirely Opera, and scored another 10 points with everyone, "how does she have this musica? It's beautiful!" I can now officially confirm the 10 pd bose in my luggage was worth the clothing I had to sacrifice to make her fit.
Just as we were preparing to cook, Davide told me his sister's dog needs to go for a walk. My options were stay home and cook, or promenade in 10 degree weather with a 10 month old white retriever! Oh the terror! It was like Sophie's Choice! How difficult life can be!!!! I chose the puppy and boyfriend, with the promise that there would still be some gnocchi to make when we got back. The walk was lovely; dog is obviously super cute and I'm obviously the best dog walker and imparted some Cesar Milan on the little guy like it was nobody's business. Upon return, I jumped into the cooking and failed miserably at rolling the gnocchi off the fork properly. I definitely need practice. There are some things I can fake in life, mastering Italian cooking is not going to be one of them, although my teachers were beyond patient and helpful.
Mama e Nonna. "Mangia!"
Mangiamo
After 5 kilos each of potatoes, we retired to our room and I fought the urge to plot myself in bed and sleep because, after all, it's Carnival, and downtown there is a huge parade happening, where people of all ages are dressed up and ready to party. If you're anything like me, you'll agree this definition is extremely vague. What is Carnival aside from a party? If people are dressing up and flooding the streets, that's great, but why? To this I received no explanation, so I didn't push. Just as I'm getting ready to leave, I'm hit with my first bout of culture shock that I didn't see coming. Davide asks me if I can put eyeliner and mascara on him.
I would never in one million years have thought this would rattle my cage, but pressed to put mascara and black eyeliner on my boyfriend really shook me! What I came to realize after much processing is that, at the time, I didn't actually understand the culture of this amazing country and wearing makeup to go see a parade in Canada is entirely different than in Europe. What I learned from this day is that Italians, in particular, are astonishingly enthusiastic, energetic, and supporting in nature, and when they say it's Carnival, similar in description to our Hallowe'en, they mean all people celebrate; this is not just for kids. Every single person dresses up in some way shape or form and participates. Likewise, I anticipate I'll see this in most facets of life here, like soccer games, politics, protesting the crisis, etc. When Italians rally to do something, they do it, full-heartedly, ambitiously and proudly. This is something I haven't really experienced in my Canadian life, and I don't say this in a negative way at all. I don't think Canadians are less passionate people, I guess what I'm getting at is the Italian expression of thought, creativity, socialization - whatever the situation - is bigger, louder and more openly profound that what I'm used to.
So, with eye makeup on (both of us), we headed d-town and within minutes were lost in a monstrous crowd. Everywhere I looked people were throwing confetti and flower (the baking kind) while shooting streamer foam at anything close by. It was a war zone of colour and energy.
This post is getting extremely long, so I'll leave you with one final thought.
In past, I have definitely "worshipped the porcelain throne" in more ways than one, this is no surprise to anyone reading this. I am both proud and sad to say, there is a new King of my Cleanliness Cage, and it's all thanks to the one and only Mr. Bidet and his ingenious invention.
BIDETS ARE THE BEST. If you are renovating or not (I sincerely hope you consider renovations after this post) I can't recommend highly enough the Bidet addition. I won't go into detail, you truly have to experience it to believe it. I would also rank this in my top five reasons for visiting Italy, as if you needed more encouragement to travel.
I hope you are all very well. I miss you so much.
Rest assured, Davide and his family have been nothing short of warm and welcoming to me, that said, I think about home all the time.
More to come soon I hope!
With much much much love,
Jenna
p.s. some eye candy:
obviously.
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